sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
