so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
