i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Randomize
