That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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