NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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