So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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