i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
My ass is underappreciated
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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