the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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