im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
