Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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