you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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