i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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