what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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