remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
