Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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