woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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