that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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