i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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