no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
