I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
where are my eyebrows?
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