I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
