Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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