im holly from the hills drunk
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
