I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
