FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
