Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i was born a porn star she said
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
