I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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