theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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