8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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