Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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