Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
