You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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