Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
