how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
