So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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