Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Randomize
