Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
