would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
