you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
