So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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