You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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