This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
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