so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
