Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Randomize
