if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
