alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
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I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
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