i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize