the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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