Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
