I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Randomize
