What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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