Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
