Those balls look pretty dangerous.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I have aggressive nipples.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
