im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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