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I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
you mean i was at the winter classic?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
