need another drink. this is the easiest way
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
