I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
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I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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