Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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