nut hugger
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
