Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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