Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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